We can have lots of great ideas in how we want to improve our lives, move house, change jobs, focus on our health and wellbeing, leave or extend a current relationship and so on but the fear paralysis stops us making those changes. So what is fear of failure? It is basically just a thought or an excuse to stop you entering into the unknown. Comfort is the place of safety which many of us prefer to stay in, there’s no risk, everything is predictable and safe and you know exactly what you will be getting – even though it may be dull and not getting you what you need. I don’t believe in failure. The ancient saying “Failure is the pillar of success” tells us that what ever we do it’s one step closer to success as long as we learn from past failures and build on them with the information/knowledge that bring us to where we are now. In coaching it is essential that you are honest with yourself. So here are some questions you can answer for yourself to help you overcome your fear of failure :

  1. Ask yourself : “What is it exactly that I want ? This your goal, be specific rather than vague eg “I want to be happy” is too vague. What exactly do you want that will make you happy ?
  2. How important is your goal on a scale of 1-10 ?
  3. If you don’t go for this goal, what would happen ?
  4. What exactlyis your fear ? Again be specific so you can then work towards getting past your fear.
  5. Who do I have in my life or what experience have I got that would help me overcome my fear ? Eg if your fear of failure is lack of confidence ask yourself what have you done in the past that has required you to be confident and got you what you needed ?
  6. What would happen if you accepted that fear ?
  7. When did you decide to accept this fear ? Has anything happened in the past that that has lead you to believe this will happen again ? Was it exactly the same situation ? (very unlikely)
  8. What is the worst case scenario if you accepted your fear ? Is this catastrophising ? What evidence do you have that this will definitely happen ?
  9. Will your life improve if you get past this fear ?
  10. What needs to happen for you not to let this fear get what you want ? How can you make this happen ? What can you take control of ?
  11. What is the next step you can take today towards moving forward with your goal ?
  12. How can you your change your fear into a strength ?